Just Overwhelmed
by rib
Summary: Says I'm a bad man; he's locking me out. AU, yaoi, HaoLys. Vague. For Candy Coloured Frown, because we're not getting married.


Title: Just Overwhelmed

Author: Rib

Summary: Says I'm a bad man; he's locking me out.

Rating: M

Pairings: HaoLyserg

Disclaimer: Nope.

Notes: AU. Somehow inspired by four days of listening to She Wants Revenge. Hrm. Candy Coloured Frown rekindled my love for the word 'enthralled.'

_An ungloved hand appeared before his face It had been raining quite hard over the past days and the usual crowd was all covered up, so this was quite strange unless like Lyserg, you were a dirt-poor slut sitting outside an old cinema. Lyserg took it. It was amazingly warm. He looked up to see a pair of eyes the color of cocoa gazing down at him. He let the man help him up._

_Hao felt some eyes turn to him, and ignored them. This boy he was lifting had uncomfortably bony fingers and judging by how the coat hung on him, he guessed it wasn't only his hands. His unusually tinted hair and matching eyes were dull, his cheeks hollow and his skin was deathly pale. Smiling in a way Hao thought was warm, he slipped off his coat and draped it over the boy's shoulders. "You need a place to stay?"_

That's how it started, Hao recalled. How this strange situation—to which Hao knew there could only be a tragic ending—started. He glanced at Lyserg, who lie sleeping beside him, his soft breaths the soundtrack of Hao's thoughts. His eyes skimmed over the bare body, which he'd managed to fill out slightly from their first encounter.

This was a ritual Hao had after they had sex. He would sit there and stare at the boy and try to figure out what kind of shithole they'd gotten themselves into; or if it was a shithole at all.

Lyserg was withdrawn. He ate like a bird and didn't speak unless spoken to. And even then, he would answer with only a few words.

One night, after a few days of living with Hao, Lyserg went out. He didn't return 'til four days later. Hao didn't ask, and Lyserg didn't explain. Hao found he had no right to; Lyserg was a complete stranger whom he'd happened to take in and adore with all his life. It also didn't seem fair to Hao because he knew these kindS of people. These kinds of people could shatter.

After that, disappearing and returning for various amounts of time became a regular thing. Sometimes he brought something for Hao. Most times he would come back wounded in many ways. Hao, as per usual, wouldn't ask and simply carry him in to treat his wounds—no matter what those may have been.

Something had happened today. Lyserg had asked Hao something. After he had, Hao had been to dumbfounded to answer and Lyserg had apologized profusely.

"No, no. It's fine. I'll take you wherever. Where do you need to go?"

Lyserg had nodded. "My apartment."

Lyserg seemed as lost as Hao did when they stepped into the apartment. It smelled heavily of incense and flowers. There were religious figures on the shelves and desks. The bed was unmade. Lyserg sauntered around, running his hands on his belongings as if learning to touch again. He turned to Hao. The look in his eyes was a familiar one.

He always cried. Hao had stopped completely the first time. Later, he figured it wasn't his fault. It all had to do with what was going on in Lyserg's mind. Those same things that made him scratch certain portions of his skin 'til they bled and touch himself in the bath.

"You can hurt me. Do whatever you like," was one of the constant pre-sex dialouges. "Tell me what to do," was another.

Hao tried to refuse sometimes. But Lyserg would sulk, which meant he would pray and beg that he be taken away. And then Hao would give in.

The scent of the sheets and Lyserg's hair enthralled Hao to no end.

Afterwards, as they were leaving, Lyserg threw the keys out the car window.

Lyserg ws screaming. This did not happen. Hao knew not to whom it was directed, but he listened.

"I am embittered! I never- _never_ want to see him again! Humilitiation and being defiled and being abused and violated-!"

He cried in Hao's arms.

"Tuck me in," he later whispered through his quiet sobs.

Lyserg glanced through the curtains. "Hao," he said in a whisper.

Although after the outburst a few weeks ago, the greenette had begun speaking more often, Hao's attention was immediately shackled. "Yes, Lyserg?"

"Why am I here?"

"I brought you here."

"Why do you keep me here?"

"I like you here."

There was a silence.

"Hao."

"Yes, Lyserg?"

"When do I have to leave?"

"You don't have to."

"I can stay?"

"For as long as you like."

Lyserg walked over to Hao, taking a seat next to him. "If you're here, I don't ever want to leave."

Today, Lyserg had laughed. Hao had bought him a cake to commemorate an entire year being aware of each other's existence. It had tumbled over during the car ride and ended up looking quite pathetic. Lyserg'd been smiling for about six weeks; very slightly at first. Hao had needed to coax him. They had begun hanging out with Hao's friends, whom Lyserg quite liked, and Hao's twin, whom Lyserg quite loved already. Things would improve, surely.

Woah-oh-oh. :(

Does it just seem a lot sadder to me than to anyone else?

I'm begging you to review. Lucyfrindle will eat you if you don't. :(


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